Toilet Humor

Right now I’m at home in Bangkok, and I’ve been thinking a lot about toilets.

Thought #1. It feels SO amazing to wake up and sit on a WARM toilet seat. My bathroom in Kunming gets pretty chilly, and I dreaded the morning bathroom trip because it was such a rude awakening to my behind!

Thought #2. In my apartment in Kunming we were having issues with our toilet clogging, so we now throw all toilet paper into a waste basket, rather than into the toilet. This is a pretty common phenomenon around China, and isn’t much of a hassle, it just means we need to dump out the waste basket a little more often. Now that I’m in Bangkok I always hesitate before throwing the paper in the bowl… old habits die hard.

Thought #3. You know you’ve lived in China for a while when you can pop a squat in a squatty potty in a full length winter coat, with a backpack (containing a laptop and heavy books/papers) on your back, in high heels, with a scarf dangling around your neck. AND you have some tissue prepared in advance (because bathrooms NEVER provide free toilet paper). Sometimes I even have to do all of the above while holding onto the door because the lock is broken. Yup, I’ve got the routine down.

Holding on to an inflatable wand topped off with a pile of poo (?!?!) at an amusement park in Dalian in 2011

Holding on to an inflatable wand topped off with a pile of poo (?!?!) at an amusement park in Dalian in 2011

Thought #4. Related to #3 (or is it #2 haha), I kind of miss squat toilets! I never thought I’d say that. Maybe this is TMI, but… it’s just… easier to go while you’re squatting! Read this if you don’t believe me.

Thought #5. I DO NOT miss the unmistakable odors of Chinese public restrooms. Be it a fancy restaurant, mall, or public bathroom on the side of a busy road, most bathrooms smell pretty terrible. You can usually find your way to the bathroom by sniffing around for the scent and following your nose. Gross. Usually I hold a bit of tissue over my mouth to mask the smell while I do my business. Ugh, I can smell it now. It’s making me feel sick. Sorry for that! Yesterday, I went to the bathroom at a nice restaurant in Bangkok and kind of wanted to stay in there and dance around for a while. It smelled like a spa, was beautifully designed, and had plenty of FREE toilet paper and hand soap. So luxurious!

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3 thoughts on “Toilet Humor

  1. What an interesting expierence. I know that wouldn’t work for me. Once down I wouldn’t be able to get back up. So glad you are enjoying your experences.
    Sending my Love, Grandmom

  2. Kim, I love your postings. Your sense of humor brightens my days. The toilet situation in China sounds like Mexico. They have a lot of the same issues and when the Mexicans come to the states, it is hard to teach them to throw the paper in the bowl. The do offer tp in the public bathrooms; 25
    cents a sheet so it can get pretty expenxsive if you dont bring your own!

  3. So funny and with such vivid imagery! You are truly absorbing Chinese culture in all aspects. Keep the stories coming.

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